


To Mourn

by rainydayadvocate



Category: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, DC Cinematic Universe, Wonder Woman (2017)
Genre: Chocolate Box Exchange 2018, Gen, Loss, Paris (City), Smallville (Town), Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 08:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13609806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainydayadvocate/pseuds/rainydayadvocate
Summary: Following Clark's funeral, Lois realizes she isn't ready to go back to Metropolis, not yet. While at the Kent Farm, she gets a visitor: Diana, the woman who had fought alongside Clark at the very end. She comes to offer her condolences, and Lois finds a friend whose own experience is not that different from her own.





	To Mourn

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tielan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tielan/gifts).



When Lois left the Smallville cemetery, she had intended to start making her way back to Metropolis, face her new reality. However, one glance at the solitaire she now wore on her ring finger, she realized she wasn't ready. Not yet.

Martha said nothing when Lois returned back to the house and let herself in. The rest of Smallville was at the wake happening in town, but neither of them were quite ready for that kind of celebration. They exchanged wordless hugs and cleaned up the remains of the viewing. With furniture back in place and all dishes washed, Lois retreated to Clark's bedroom and curled up on his bed.

Martha turned on the tv downstairs, the background noise welcome; even with crickets and birds chirping outside the open window, the house was far too quiet. Lois closed her eyes and simply let time pass, hoping it would lessen the pain, even a little. His childhood bed smelled like him. That helped. Spinning the ring around her finger, lingering on the diamond, that also helped. But nothing helped her feel the reality that _Clark was gone_. Deep down, Lois assumed this would—could—never happen. The invincible love of her life was supposed to outlive her.

Lois didn't hear the door open, and she jumped into a sitting position against the headboard when she felt the bed lower on the side. She looked up into dark, sad eyes. It was the woman from the battle, who had helped Clark bring down Luthor's abomination. The woman smiled, just a little. She wore a black dress like she had been at the funeral, but Lois didn't remember seeing her there. Of course, she already had very little recollection of the funeral itself. This woman could have easily been there and escaped her notice.

"Lois," she started, pausing as if looking for words. "I thought I should properly introduce myself. I am Diana. Though I did not know him well, I am deeply sorry about Kal-el."

Frowning, Lois sat up straighter, tucking her legs underneath her. "Kal-el? I'm sorry, but I think you had the wrong funeral. Kal-el—Superman—his funeral was in Metrop—"

"Was in Smallville today. You and I both know the casket in Metropolis is empty."

Lois sighed and slid a hand through her hair, smoothing out the strays mussed by the bedspread. "For not knowing him very well, you seem to know quite a bit about him."

"I am not here to discuss Kal-el's secrets, or to intentionally cause you greater pain. I am here to offer you my empathies."

"Your empathies? No offense, but I doubt you understand quite what this feels like."

Diana reached down for her purse. She retrieved her wallet and pulled out a very worn, very old picture. When she passed it over, Lois was almost afraid to touch it, for fear that it would fray the edges even farther. It was a picture of a man, an incredibly attractive man, in a pilot's bomber jacket, a wry grin lighting up his face. She wasn't the best at identifying historic eras, but she guessed this pilot was from before World War II. "Who was he?" Lois asked, glancing back at her visitor.

Diana sighed and took the picture back. "Steve Trevor. The first man I ever met. And perhaps, still the best. One of the best, at least. His death was not unlike Kal's."

Lois knew she was missing something, that this gorgeous woman who couldn't be any older than her was mourning the loss of a man who died a hundred years ago. "I don't think I understand. The first man you ever met?"

"Oh, yes. I should probably do a full introduction. I am Diana of Themiscyra, daughter of Queen Hippolyta."

"Themis—Hippol—you're an Amazon. An Amazon princess."

"Yes, I am."

"And how old are you?"

"I think it's probably best if I don't answer that question. But, Steve and I fought together under the British Army in World War I. It was, unfortunately, only the first War to End All Wars that I have witnessed. We met when he was fleeing the Germans and he crash-landed near our island. The Amazons could not help him, not as a group, but I could. I did." Diana's thumb moved over the corner of the photo, as if brushing something off of his shoulder.

Lois knew that hand moment. A desperate attempt grasp something already gone, that cannot come back. She'd done it more than once with pictures in their apartment, and had fingered more flannel shirts in the closet than she would ever admit. "You loved him," she finally said, voice low.

"I still do," Diana replied. "I didn't fully understand how I felt about him, then. Oh, I understood romantic love on paper, but it wasn't until he was gone that I realized how empty I felt without him. I felt like I'd known him much longer than I had." She smiled and ever so carefully returned the picture of Steve to her wallet.

Lois gave her a moment because she asked, "How did he die?"

Diana's eyes grew distant as she stared out the open window. She shook her head, as if dismissing the memory. "We had found a secret facility and air field. A plane filled with chemical weapons—gas that could destroy life—was ready to take off and end so many innocent lives. I was occupied in a fight against Ares."

"Ares? God of war Ares?"

"Yes. Do you know another Ares?"

"No, no. Just checking. Please, continue." Lois cleared her throat and tucked her hair behind her ears.

"Because I was preoccupied with Ares and the only one who was a match for him, Steve made the only decision he could. That plane had to be stopped. So he fought his way on board, overtook the crew, and flew as high as he could. The plane exploded. I assume he deliberately set the gas alight. He sacrificed himself for at the very least Europe, but potentially the entire world." She sighed and pulled a pocket-watch dangling from a long chain out of her purse and placed it around her neck. "He gave me this, right before he went up. I was in shock, and I could not hear him. It wasn't until later I realized he said he loved me and he was telling me farewell."

Lois did not know what to say. With a story like that in her past, of course Diana felt empathy with her. They had both stood by and watched a selfless sacrifice by the men they loved for the greater good. But Lois's love was an immortal, one who had a chance to survive his battle. Diana's love had been just a man, and knew he was making the ultimate sacrifice.

Lois reached over and touched Diana's arm, squeezing just above her wrist with a tender smile. "I apologize, then, for saying you couldn't possibly be empathetic. This was a century ago. Does the pain ever go away?"

"No," the Amazon replied with no hesitation. "No, the pain becomes a part of you, a part of what drives you forward. If I am to live, I must honor Steve's death and what he died for. I can't do that if I don't still have the pain." She turned to smile at Lois. "But it does become easier to live with. It will move out of the forefront of your mind as it slowly becomes a part of you. I would not be who I am without it and, in a strange way, I am grateful for it."

Lois wanted that to be a greater comfort than it was, but the idea of a heartache becoming a part of who she was permanently did not really make her feel better. She stood and walked to the closet. Her fingers brushed over the array of shirts and she grabbed a plaid work shirt, pulling it on over her dress. It took a couple of rolls until her hands were visible underneath the sleeves. She pulled the shirt tight against her chest and snuggled into the collar, moving to watch the approaching sunset outside the window.

Diana gave her some space and quiet for a number of minutes. Finally, she said, "You are strong, Lois. I am aware of your career as a journalist. You were strong before Kal, you have shown nothing but strength since he entered your life, and that will continue now."

"But what if I can't?" Lois asked in a whisper. "I've become reckless, foolish, because I shared a bed with a near-literal god that would be there to save me. I came to depend on my safety net."

Diana stood suddenly and crossed to her, nudging her shoulder away from the window. "If there is one thing I know, it is that women are stronger than men. Amazon or not, that is true. And we do not need—" she tugged at the flannel and pulled it off Lois's shoulders, leaving it to hand limply from her elbows, "—safety nets."

Lois took a step back and shook her head. She tugged on the sleeves until they unrolled and covered her hands. She could hear Diana's reasoning. The Lois Lane who had wandered into eternally-frozen Alaska in search of an impossible man did not expect that man to rescue her. She also did not expect him to become the love of her life. She lived for the story, and she took risks for the story. She could become that person again. She needed to. She wanted to.

As soon as the mourning period was over.

"But it's okay," Lois said, "isn't it, if I take smaller leaps for a little while, work myself back up to intrepid reporter?"

"Yes. Of course."

Lois shrugged the shirt back onto her shoulders and silently admitted to herself she wasn't ready to let go, but she would look forward to the day when she could. And that thought made her give Diana a genuine smile. "Thank you."

"You are most welcome," she said, returning the smile. "Now, come. Martha promised chicken pot pie, and when we have finished, I think I know just the thing to help with funeral recovery."

***

The next morning, having traveled on the most relaxing red eye flight of her life, Lois sat across a café table from Diana, taking in the crisp morning air of Paris, the Eiffel Tower their backdrop. She sipped her cup of pressed coffee, willing the perfect brew to last forever. She was working on her second croissant, pulling it apart multiple times, savoring every layer. There was also fruit on the table, but who was going to eat fruit when there was French roast coffee and French croissants to eat? "You're right, Diana. This is the perfect way to recover from the funeral."

"I figured you would agree with me." Diana's had a coffee of her own—she also took it black, and Lois appreciated that about her—and a few slices of tartine, soft slices of bread covered in butter and jam and topped with an array of fruits.

The Paris early morning reminded Lois that a new day would come, a day where the pain would hurt less, and she would feel like herself again. Right now, she was happy to just feel like tourist in Paris.

She leaned back in her chair and slipped her sunglasses on, sighing with contentment. "How exactly did you gain access to Mr. Wayne's personal jet?"

Diana focused on her bread. "I sent him a text once we got on the plane. He hasn't replied yet."

"You mean we asked forgiveness, not permission?"

"I suppose that is one way to phrase it. Isn't it an incredible plane, though?"

Lois grinned over the top of her sunglasses. "I'm never flying commercial again."

Diana laughed and stood. "Come. You're getting my tour of the city today."

Lois stood and pulled Clark's flannel shirt off the back of the chair, tying it around her waist just above her jeans.

"I don't have to walk around my home city with you looking like a American tourist, do I?" Diana asked.

"I'm afraid today you have to," Lois replied, tightening the knot.

"Oh, very well." Diana smiled and said nothing more about the shirt or the engagement ring on her finger.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this treat! I know in your DNW you mentioned you don't like unhappy endings, but I hope this bittersweet tone is all right!


End file.
